2016 has been a year. The internet, or at least social media thought 2016 was a terrible joke. There were many entertainers who died far too young. It was a year of political unrest, propaganda and division. We saw people unabashedly judge entire races on live TV. Ignorant remarks, riots and violence were seemingly everywhere. Conservatives and liberals were quick to blame each other for everything that was going wrong. Viral videos displayed how peoples words can spread love or hate; courage or fear.
I never used to think very much before I spoke. I believed the best way to be myself was to share my opinion. If people didn’t like my opinion, that was their problem - or so I thought. Despite this attitude, all my careless chatter would render sleep unattainable as I replayed everything I’d said that day. This “diarrhoea of the mouth” - as mom aptly (and grossly) put it, wasn’t the most helpful way to engage with others, but I always succumbed to my need to be understood.
"We typically seek first to be understood. Most people do not listen with the intent to understand; they listen with the intent to reply." - Stephen R Covey
“Whoever guards his mouth preserves his life; he who opens wide his lips comes to ruin.” - Proverbs 13:3
2016 was a very humbling year for me. The shame of rejection and loneliness brought me to my knees before God. His Word revealed the root of all my folly and pride. I finally saw how much I needed God to save me from my self-destructive behaviour. Jesus brought that dead woman to life. For me, 2016 was an amazing year of healing and revelation, a brand new start.
“Know this, my beloved brothers: let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger; for the anger of man does not produce the righteousness of God.” - James 1:19-20
God wants us to be people who care about people. Be quick to hear, listen to their story. He wants us to seek ways to bless others as we learn more about them and display what true love really is. The Holy Spirit enables us to stop rattling off our own opinions and start empathising - we don't seek to be understood, but to understand. Everyone has an innate desire to be loved and known, but many hide it - erecting walls of pride and scorn around themselves. Everyone has a story and we shouldn't assume that we know enough to judge another person rightly. God is the judge of man, we are not.
"Frankly, there isn't anyone you couldn't learn to love once you've heard their story" - Mr. Rogers
God frees us from the fear of man and retrains our minds to love like he does, not as the world does. Our love is not dependent on what others say or do. God softens our hearts in a way we could never do ourselves. This is such wonderful freedom if we can learn to walk in it! We can speak truth and kindness to people, even if they are doing the opposite to us. It takes time to learn the new habits of our new self, I'm learning rather slowly for my liking, but through Christ and the Word of God - it's possible!
"You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ But I say to you, Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, so that you may be sons of your Father who is in heaven. For he makes his sun rise on the evil and on the good, and sends rain on the just and on the unjust. For if you love those who love you, what reward do you have? Do not even the tax collectors do the same? And if you greet only your brothers, what more are you doing than others? Do not even the Gentiles do the same? You therefore must be perfect, as your heavenly Father is perfect." - Matthew 5:43-48
Some of the greatest things we can offer people are a listening ear, an empathetic heart and words that bring life, not death. At times it might seem like we're not doing anything worthwhile, but God assures us:
"...so shall my word be that goes out from my mouth; it shall not return to me empty, but it shall accomplish that which I purpose, and shall succeed in the thing for which I sent it." - Isaiah 55:11