“Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, rejoice. Let your reasonableness be known to everyone. The Lord is at hand; do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things. What you have learned and received and heard and seen in me—practice these things, and the God of peace will be with you.” - Philippians 4:4-9
The more I see of Jesus, the more I need to see. He continually illuminates and corrects my bad habits, perceptions and judgements. I’m amazed by this and am so grateful for His unending love and patience. It’s a real spiritual battle sometimes, but whenever I press into God for more understanding, He leads me there. There’s been some really exciting things that He’s been showing me lately and I’m eager to grow in love, wisdom, maturity, and (especially) humility.
I’ve lived with an irrational fear of rejection for a long time. In June I began talking to God about this. He revealed why I’ve been this way and brought some specific people to my mind so I would forgive them. What really helped this along was not only forgiving them, but praying for them as well. He's been re-wiring my brain to be much more empathetic and kind. It’s impossible to stay angry with someone who you’re actively desiring good things for.
God showed me that I've had this wrong mentality towards Him as well. I was worried that the Holy Spirit would leave me. I didn’t think I'd lose salvation (He promises that’s impossible), but I’d worry I wouldn’t feel Him anymore. This fear became so intense that I'd avoid seeking Him entirely. I'd still read the Bible and pray, but my walls were firmly in place between us. There was a 3 - 4 week period where I didn’t feel God at all and became even more convinced that His presence was actually withdrawn from me. I just knew it was my fault and I’d have to get over our “honeymoon period that only new Christians experience” (a few people said something like this to me).
I became upset at church seeing others being filled with His joy while I wasn’t. Focusing on my feelings was the wrong thing to do, but I couldn’t seem to get over my lack of Him. When I momentarily escaped the erratic tempest of my mind and remembered his goodness, I’d begin to feel His presence again. Yet instead of rejoicing in this or connecting the dots, I’d get scared that He’d leave again. I’d become desperate in my soul, begging: “Don’t go! Don’t go!” but that’s exactly what seemed to happen as a result. All I wanted to do was cry. I just knew I was doing everything wrong and so I felt like a total failure. He told me He loves me, but I didn’t understand why this was happening. All my prayers around that time were so desperate and burdened: “Please let me feel you God. I know you love me, I know I’m your child, but I can’t go on without feeling you too.” I’d already lived my whole life without a direct connection to Him and after tasting how good He was, after He opened my eyes to this new life with Him, how could I possibly let any of Him go?
In July I began attending an early morning small group for women. The leader of the group has the Spiritual gift of Words of knowledge (this gives a person the ability to know what God is currently doing or intends to do in the life of another person. It can also be defined as knowing the secrets of another person's heart.). While we were praying, she came over to me and without me telling her anything about this personal struggle, she began speaking to me from God directly about all of it. She spoke exact answers to all of my prayers and confusion, with words that were based firmly in Scripture. He said to me that He would never reject me or forsake me, that this isn’t what he does to His children. I could do everything wrong every minute of every day and He will not go anywhere. He never removes His Presence and he is always available to us, even if we don’t feel it through our disbelief. He told me to stop trying to fight my way to Him in fear and start trusting that He is good and his promises are true. She prayed with me for at least 5 minutes while I sobbed and rejoiced. My heart became so light and unburdened after that. It was everything I needed to hear and the answer to every lie from the enemy that I was accepting and believing. Fear like this is the opposite of trust and faith in his goodness. I cannot delight in God’s presence if there is lack of trust in my heart. I should always expect great things from my amazing God and open myself up to Him with eager expectation. My God really loves me and wasn’t hiding His face from me.
I recently began a new job in Dublin. The first week was a solid 5 days of absolute, perfect peace. That isn’t exactly normal for an introverted, self-conscious and slightly socially challenged person. What changed? I knew without any doubt that God gave me this job. This wasn’t a random thing, it wasn’t a fluke, it was 100%, completely ordained by Him every step of the way. My faith in this fact was so complete, that there wasn’t any room for anxiety about it. I just knew that God has a plan for me in that place and He’s going to use me change people's lives. Trust and faith in God’s plan automatically produces a consistent level of peace and joy in our souls. I’m so excited and honored to be used by Him that I’m filled with love for almost every person I meet. I see people through God’s eyes instead of my old “are they judging me?” lenses. The beautiful women who I’m tempted to be self-conscious around or the men who look so stern and important are all just normal people like me who try to hide their underlying fear of judgement and rejection. That makes everyone I meet an immortal being to love and be charitable with my time and energy. I’d like to say that I was able to love people before Jesus came into my life, but it’s difficult when you’re so busy being scared of them.
Flesh mode = distrust, fear, judgement of others
Result of flesh mode = anxiety, tight stomach, tension, cloudy mind, bad attitude
Spirit mode = trusting God, love, judging my own heart, being kind and merciful to others
Result of Spirit mode = peace, joy, love, relaxation (yet still productive!), clear mind
Since I began this job, God has shown me how to be constantly vigilant of the shift in my soul (mind, will and emotions). Not only do I feel the obvious tension in my stomach that comes with the fleshy / worldly thoughts and worries, there’s a physical weight on my brain. The more I know about Jesus, the more I trust Him, the more I love Him and the more He enables me to follow Him.
Jesus is changing how I feel, think of others, treat others, react to pressure and think of myself. He's changing everything that's sinful: taking out the old and replacing with the new. It’s much less of me and much more of Him. I will take all I can get!
Hear how these people from different countries, religions and life experiences came to put their faith in Jesus Christ. I hope their words touch your heart and change your life. If you'd like to see more videos like these, please click the label "testimonies" - I will regularly add more.
No one desires depression, anxiety or low self-esteem, yet we sometimes arrive there. I had an arsenal of weapons to combat all unwelcome thoughts or feelings. I'd talk to my loving and encouraging husband. I ran to improve my health and fitness. I got the jobs I wanted, in the industry I wanted. I tasted great food and wine. I travelled. I blew off steam on nights out with music, dancing and alcohol. I cultivated an online brand of "stable and happy wife with a relatively interesting life".
It was in the calm, quiet nights that my guard was down and the depression would descend.
People don't like me. I'm a fraud. I'm not a good person. This is all meaningless.
Everyone desires pleasure, fulfillment and joy. I could never quite get there - wherever "there" was. Some people think they need to find "the one". Well, I have been happily married for several years. I love my husband deeply and (I'm speaking for him here, but...) he loves me. While our marriage has brought joy, laughter and love, it wasn't enough to stop the fear that I was running from. We all realize someday that other people, great careers, humanitarian work, life experiences, academic achievements and cheap thrills can bring some happiness, but they won't fill us the way we hope.
"You make known to me the path of life; you will fill me with joy in your presence, with eternal pleasures at your right hand." - Psalm 16:11
Jesus is life, joy and eternal pleasure. We are all infinitely precious and valuable to God. He is the potter and we are the clay. He created us to be with Him as Father and beloved child. When I finally saw that he is the Way, the Truth and the Life (no one gets to the Father, except through Jesus), I realized he's been chasing me with his love for my entire life. Everything began falling into place with him at the center of it!
“For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life." - John 3:16
"Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before Him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God." - Hebrew 12:2
God delights when we see that what we really want and really need is only found in knowing him personally. As a born-again believer in Jesus Christ I see this truth throughout Scripture. Now all I want is to experience more of God and to share this good news with others. Most people are so busy hiding or suppressing their discontentment, it's refreshing and exciting when I meet people who are honest and seeking for the answer. God brings these people into our lives so we can share the light of Jesus.
One thing I can't get over is how the Holy Spirit sends waves of love as I learn more amazing things about God. There's nothing about him is not awesome and there are endless things to learn, forever! I now find real and lasting joy in him and crave more and more every day.
“Though you have not seen him, you love him. Though you do not now see him, you believe in him and rejoice with joy that is inexpressible and filled with glory, obtaining the outcome of your faith, the salvation of your souls.” - 1 Peter 8-9
Imagine that you lived in a tiny town in the middle of America that was nowhere near any ocean. All your life you grew up reading stories and watching films about it. You never doubted that it was a real place and looked forward to experiencing it someday. Eventually you move to a coastal town for a new job and one of the first things you do when you arrive there is drive to the nearest beach. When you finally turn a corner, the first glimpse you get of the endless expanse of water takes your breath away. It’s so BIG! You’re already in awe and you haven’t even parked your car yet. When you arrive at the boardwalk and open your door, the wind hits your face, you smell the salt in the air and hear the sounds of waves crashing on the beach. You’re suddenly aware that the ocean is like nowhere else.
As you walk onto the beach you stumble a bit as your shoes awkwardly fill up with sand. You take them off and throw them to the side discovering the sensation of warm sand between your toes as you continue towards the water. As you draw near the strong, moist wind cools your skin from the heat of the sun. The waves are crashing only a few yards away and the edge of the water occasionally tickles your feet. As you look out at the ocean and sky beyond you feel a peace descending and realise that you love the ocean. You could easily live in this moment and gaze out at it forever.
After walking up and down the beach for a while, you see a group of people swimming and enjoying themselves. You notice others surfing, longboarding and snorkeling. Being a confident swimmer already, you’re surprised when a bit of unexpected anxiety creeps up on you. What if you get pulled out to sea? What if there’s sharks in there? You don’t see any lifeguards nearby - what if you hurt yourself and nobody's around to help? You then realise with some relief that you didn’t bring your swimsuit anyway, so you decide to give it a try next time. You recommence enjoying the beach as you were before and commit to come back again next week for a proper dip.
As the week goes by you can’t get the ocean out of your mind. You tell your new friend about it and make a plan to return with them on Saturday. When the day comes, the anticipation has built up in your mind so much that when you arrive you barely pause to put down your towel before running straight to the waters edge. Your reservations from last week have lost their hold on you and within moments you’ve walked in up to your shoulders and are laughing with pleasure at the rising and falling of the waves. The ocean quickly becomes your favorite place on earth and you soon discover the many ways it can be enjoyed.
A year quickly passes and you visit your loved ones back home. You soon discover many others who share with you the same passion for the ocean. Your grandmother used to live in the same town and her whole face lights up as you tell her all of the amazing things you’ve been learning and experiencing. She tells you that once the love of the ocean has permeated your soul, it’s always there, even if you’re hundreds of miles from any beach. To your joy, she plans a trip to visit you there next summer.
One evening you’re chatting with an old friend and because it’s never far from your mind, you mention something about a recent ocean-related-adventure. Your friend looks at you incredulously as she affirms that the ocean only exists in movies and fairytales. They themselves have never seen it and they know many others who agree that it’s a scam to make people leave their town, waste time and money. You try to share your varied experiences, but you soon notice the pitying look growing on her face. She thinks you’ve lost your mind completely.
How can this be? Your friend has known you since grade school! You’ve never been a gullible person, how can they think that you’ve hallucinated an entire year of your life? She tells you that some people just really want the ocean to exist, because they need it to. She explains that the power of the mind and will is strong enough to make it seem real, because they can’t handle the reality of the world. This really throws you for a loop, you didn’t know anyone felt this way about the place you loved so much. Although you experienced in person it for the first time only last year, you grew up knowing that the ocean was a real place, because the evidence was available all around you. Still, you understand there have been countless scams that ruined lives and you can empathise with her wariness.
Your friend has a point about the power of the mind. What she doesn't see is that her mind is suppressing any hope that there's something larger than herself and the life she feels comfortable living. You feel an intense sadness for every rich experience she is willingly rejecting.
You can’t push anyone else to believe the ocean is a real and amazing place, they need to seek it out for themselves. Living there has changed you and people sense that. Fellow ocean enthusiasts recognize your bronzed skin and calm disposition instantly and smile at you with understanding. Others who knew you before you left ask what has changed, so you tell them. Some of them don't believe, while others make plans to visit the coast themselves. It is inexpressible joy every time someone freely joins you on the beach to run into the waves.
. . .
Although it’s a vastly incomplete picture, being in Christ can be like this in some ways. Being born again through the Spirit of God by the grace of Jesus’ death and resurrection leaves us forever changed. We know now that God is really real, Jesus is the son of God sent to deliver us from our sins and His word is completely true! We can feel the Father’s love and peace inside our hearts when we put our trust in Him. With veil removed we see the truth of the Gospel and the need for the rest of the fallen world to repent and put their faith in Him. Without a word, trusting in the promises of God clearly displays His love to others. I sometimes forget this and try to take back control of my life - falling straight back into an anxious and judgemental mind. Thankfully, He's always here to nudge us back when we wander from His peace.
Praise the Lord for His patience, mercy and love!
There's something about certain music that completely captivates our souls. Christian worship is our soul delighting in Jesus and expressing praise to him for the true things the Scriptures teach us about who He is and what he has accomplished for us. I've added a few of my recent favourites below!
"Once you see this - that the work of the heart (the emotions) is as important for reflecting the glory of God as the work of the head (understanding) is, then you will begin to see why music and singing is so important for Christian worship. The reason we sing is because there are depths and heights and intensities and kinds of emotion that will not be satisfactorily expressed by mere prosaic forms, or even poetic readings. There are realities that demand to break out of prose into poetry and some demand that poetry be stretched into song." - Singing and Making Melody to the Lord, Desiring God
It's so amazing and encouraging to hear how people from all different backgrounds and walks of life came to put their faith in Christ. I plan to make this a regular feature here, just click the label "testimonies" next time you're here. I hope these stories bless you today!
I have some friends and family who don't understand why I was recently water baptised. I'll try my best to explain the difference between Salvation and Baptism and why I was very happily submerged in the "clean" part of the Liffey river.
Salvation
"...if you confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. For with the heart one believes and is justified, and with the mouth one confesses and is saved." - Romans 10:9-10
The Biblical meaning of “salvation” is our spiritual deliverance from the consequence of sin, which is eternal separation from our perfect and Holy God. After the first man and woman sinned in the garden of Eden every human descendant has since fallen short of the glory of God.
How do we acquire salvation?
You must first understand that you’re a sinner who is separated from God by your sin. You must then believe the Gospel message (Gospel = good news!) : God sent His son Jesus Christ to the world as the only perfect sacrifice to redeem humanity. Jesus lived a sinless life, willingly died for our sins and rose again on the third day - completely conquering death for all who believe in Him. You need to confess your sin to God, accept Jesus’ freely offered grace and ask Him to come into your life. Salvation is a personal experience between ourselves and God. The specific words don’t really matter - you can pray to Him in your own words. What does matter is that you say them with complete honesty, humility and a contrite heart.
Here is a short video that explains Salvation:
When a person is saved the Spirit confirms this to them from within them and the fruit of the Spirit (love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control) will begin to grow and become visible proof to others of the Holy Spirit dwelling inside them. God completely changes us by His Spirit! We can't get there by our own works, rituals, family or good deeds. A “Christian” is not a person who said a repentance prayer or walked down an aisle or been raised in a Christian family. While each of these things can be a part of the Christian experience, they are not what makes a Christian. A Christian is a person who has repented of their sin and fully trusted in Jesus Christ as the only Saviour and therefore possesses the Holy Spirit.
"He saved us, not on the basis of deeds which we have done in righteousness, but according to His mercy, by the washing of regeneration and renewing by the Holy Spirit" - Titus 3:5
"And I will give you a new heart, and a new spirit I will put within you. And I will remove the heart of stone from your flesh and give you a heart of flesh." - Ezekiel 36:26
"The Spirit himself bears witness with our spirit that we are children of God" - Romans 8:16
If you are struggling to grasp the significance of this, just ask God to personally show you why you need His forgiveness and to give you the faith in Jesus and humility to ask for His grace. God will answer you if you ask Him! He loves you dearly and desires that everyone would be with Him forever. That's why Jesus spent His ministry teaching us about the Father’s love and gave up His life for us.
Baptism
"We were buried therefore with him by baptism into death, in order that, just as Christ was raised from the dead by the glory of the Father, we too might walk in newness of life." - Romans 6:4
What is Baptism?
Water baptism is for Christians who have already been saved through trust in Jesus and desire to make that public declaration of faith. It is an outward symbol of an inward change which shows that we’ve died to ourselves and now belong to God. You are fully submerged underwater to symbolise your death with Christ on the cross and then raised up again into a new life through the Spirit and united to the Father.
Baptism is not essential to our Salvation, but Jesus and His Disciples told the Church to do this. It’s like when two people exchange rings during their marriage ceremony as a symbol of their union. The rings are not the actual marriage itself, but a symbol of it. If we take our rings off our fingers it doesn’t change our marital status; so if we are not baptised it does not take away our salvation. A Christian cannot lose their salvation. Most, if not all, of what the Bible says happens to us when we receive Christ would be invalidated if salvation could be lost. Salvation is the gift of God, and God’s gifts are “irrevocable” (Romans 11:29). A Christian cannot be un-newly created. Eternal life cannot be temporary. God cannot renege on His Word. Scripture says that God cannot lie (Titus 1:2).
Why get Baptised?
When you decide to get baptised you are telling God, people and the devil that you are serious and unashamed about following Jesus Christ for the rest of your life.
My husband and I recently had a month long visit to America. We spent the first 2 weeks road tripping down the California coast and Grand Canyon and another 2 visiting our family in New Jersey. While the trip was incredibly blessed, the only downside was that I ceased spending quality time with God and mostly rushed through my devotionals. God wants us to prioritise spending time with Him and it's now clear to me how crucial it is. One thing He's been impressing upon me a lot lately (because it takes me a while sometimes) is the need to not only read Scripture, but to really study and commit it to our brains - especially His promises to us.
When we know where we stand in Christ we can confidently resist the enemy. It's so empowering to say: "NO. I know what God says about this: "related verse here"!" to the voices of anxiety, doubt and fear that used to rule my life.
The Bible is the source of:
- Truth: "Sanctify them by Your truth; Your word is truth - John 17:17
- God's blessing: "But He said, 'More than that, blessed are those who hear the word of God and keep it'" - Luke 11:28
- Victory: "...the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God" - Ephesians 6:17
- Growth: "As newborn babes, desire the pure milk of the word, that you may grow thereby" - Peter 2:2
- Power: "For I am not ashamed of the gospel of Christ, for it is the power of God to salvation for everyone who believes, for the Jew first and also for the Greek" - Romans 1:16
- Guidance: "Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light to my path" - Psalm 119:105
Salvation
For God so loved the world that He gave His one and only Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have eternal life. For God did not send His Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through Him. - John 3:16-17
Here I am! I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in and eat with him, and he with me. - Revelation 3:20
Jesus answered, “I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the father except through me.” - John 14:6
For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God—not by works, so that no one can boast. - Ephesians 2:8,9
Therefore, if anyone is in Christ he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come! - 2 Corinthians 5:17
Assurance
And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. - Romans 8:28
Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint. - Isaiah 40:30-31
The Lord is my light and my salvation—whom shall I fear? The Lord is the stronghold of my life—of whom shall I be afraid? - Psalm 27:1
“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” - Jeremiah 29:11
Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever. - Hebrews 13:8
The Lord is not slow in keeping His promise, as some understand slowness. He is patient with you, not wanting anyone to perish, but everyone to come to repentance. - 2 Peter 3:9
Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. - Lamentations 3:22-23
But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. - 2 Corinthians 12:9
Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light. - Matthew 11:28-30
For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord. - Romans 8:38-39
“For Christ also suffered once for sins, the righteous for the unrighteous, that he might bring us to God, being put to death in the flesh but made alive in the spirit, in which he went and proclaimed to the spirits in prison,” - 1 Peter 3:18-19
I thought I was saved at age eight while attending a Children's Christian day camp in Bloomfield, NJ. Someone told me there that I was a sinner who needed Jesus’s gift of grace to go to Heaven. I remember being terrified of hell and made the obvious choice of heaven through Jesus. I recited the sinner’s prayer that they told me to say, even though I didn’t fully grasp what it meant. The next thing I remember is coming home to tell my tiny three year old sister to do the same thing so we could both be safe. I assumed from then on that I was a Christian.
For a few summers my parents sent my little sister and me to a week long Bible camp. My favorite parts were the food, swimming in the lake and playing games. I didn’t mind the church message if it was entertaining, but I thought reading the Bible was dull and I didn’t really understand it. I felt inclined to go to Church after returning from camp in 2001 and suggested it to my dad. He surprisingly found a new church and brought us there almost every Sunday for 2 years before he died. Despite the fact that we were going at my own suggestion, I usually resented waking up early and zoned out during most of the messages.
I thought God and Jesus were good, but I rarely thought of them or my spiritual state outside of a church building. When people shared their testimonies I didn’t relate or feel their present state of peace, joy or hope. When I considered these differences a cold dread would inch its way up my spine. Should I say the sinner’s prayer again? Did I do it wrong that first time? Then I’d conclude that I was being paranoid and having a momentary lapse of faith. I assumed my guilt was stemming from being less passionate about my testimony and that I’d grow some zeal when I found the right church someday.
I felt like a fraud in University when my Christian friends asked me to pray for them. I cringed myself through some prayers and eventually stopped going to the meetings altogether. I thought they’d hear my lack of Biblical knowledge and doubt my salvation because of it. I reasoned that they were only good at that stuff because they came from more devout Christian families. I felt self-conscious about this in particular, because my family only said short routine prayers before dinner and we never read the Bible together. When I began enjoying nightclubs and bars I thought that I’d be judged, so I pretended to be too busy to go to most Christian events or meetings during my senior year.
I could go on, but the main point of this post is this: I was not born-again at age eight. I wanted to be saved from hell and be a happy person, but I didn’t care to know God personally, nor did I fully understand why I needed Him. I wanted comfort and a happy eternity with family and friends, but I didn’t consider Jesus or God to be the central part of what the experience of Heaven actually is. Now I understand that the joy of Heaven is eternal communion with Him : forever loving Him, being loved by Him, praising Him and never tiring or ceasing to be filled with the joy of His Glory. We were created to delight in ourselves in the Lord.
“If we don’t get to God through forgiveness, through justification, through propitiation, through escape from hell, through removal of wrath, if we don’t get to God and love him and treasure him and own him and say, He is everything to us, it hasn’t happened. Salvation hasn’t happened. That is what it is about. It is about him. It is not about me getting forgiven, me getting out of hell, me getting free from wrath. It is about me getting to God. I am made for God. I am made to know him and love him and be with him in a fellowship that is satisfying to my soul and, because it is satisfying to my soul, it is glorifying to his name. That is the end of the story. Everything else is means.
I love this verse. “Christ also suffered once for sins,” — my sins. My sins of exchanging God for other things. He died so that I could get to him and finally discover what my treasure is and my value in him is. That is the first thing that has to happen to restore God to the center is that Christ must die for our unrighteous exchange. And he did. And that is the heart of the gospel. But it is not the goal of the gospel. The goal of the gospel is God.” - John Piper
I finally went through enough pain in my life to realise something was missing this whole time. Even in my happiest moments, I would find something to complain or murmur about. Everything I used as a remedy for my anxiety or sadness never gave me any true peace. When I went looking for help in Scripture God met me there. Everything I learned about Him filled me with wonder and gladness - even verses that I’d heard so many times before. God started to show me particular things that were wrong in my heart, how many mistakes I’ve made trying to do things my own way and how I desperately needed Him. I began to see how He loved me, His prodigal daughter, even though I never really loved Him. All of this time He wanted me to come back home to Him.
I was saved through faith at age 29 after seeking out Jesus. When I gave my life to Him through tears and trembling He filled me with His love and peace. This is available to everyone, no matter who you are, where you're from or whatever bad thing you’ve done. There is no sin too large or heart too dead that Jesus's sacrifice can't redeem you from. His Spirit is the only one who can open the eyes of your heart, cleanse you and make you a new creation in Him. He loves you so much. If you don’t believe any of this, ask Him to open your heart and mind to Him. Ask Jesus to show you who He is and be honest about your lack of faith, because He knows what's in your heart anyway.
If you're like I was and desire many things before God, think the Bible is boring and only give time to God on occasion, please don't try to clean your life up and then come to God. You can't do anything to improve yourself before you come to the Lord. He will be the one to create the change inside you through Grace. You'll be absolutely amazed how different you become with His Spirit inside you! He does everything and gets all the Glory for the change in us, we do nothing but trust Him through the faith that He gives us. God will not deny you if you humble yourself and ask for His help.
The Parable of the Prodigal Son
11 And he said, “There was a man who had two sons. 12 And the younger of them said to his father, ‘Father, give me the share of property that is coming to me.’ And he divided his property between them. 13 Not many days later, the younger son gathered all he had and took a journey into a far country, and there he squandered his property in reckless living. 14 And when he had spent everything, a severe famine arose in that country, and he began to be in need. 15 So he went and hired himself out to one of the citizens of that country, who sent him into his fields to feed pigs. 16 And he was longing to be fed with the pods that the pigs ate, and no one gave him anything.
“But when he came to himself, he said, ‘How many of my father's hired servants have more than enough bread, but I perish here with hunger! I will arise and go to my father, and I will say to him, “Father, I have sinned against heaven and before you. I am no longer worthy to be called your son. Treat me as one of your hired servants.”’ And he arose and came to his father. But while he was still a long way off, his father saw him and felt compassion, and ran and embraced him and kissed him. And the son said to him, ‘Father, I have sinned against heaven and before you. I am no longer worthy to be called your son.’But the father said to his servants,‘Bring quickly the best robe, and put it on him, and put a ring on his hand, and shoes on his feet. And bring the fattened calf and kill it, and let us eat and celebrate. For this my son was dead, and is alive again; he was lost, and is found.’ And they began to celebrate.
“Now his older son was in the field, and as he came and drew near to the house, he heard music and dancing. And he called one of the servants and asked what these things meant. And he said to him, ‘Your brother has come, and your father has killed the fattened calf, because he has received him back safe and sound.’ But he was angry and refused to go in. His father came out and entreated him, but he answered his father, ‘Look, these many years I have served you, and I never disobeyed your command, yet you never gave me a young goat, that I might celebrate with my friends. But when this son of yours came,who has devoured your property with prostitutes, you killed the fattened calf for him!’ And he said to him, ‘Son, you are always with me, and all that is mine is yours. It was fitting to celebrate and be glad, for this your brother was dead, and is alive; he was lost, and is found.’” - Luke 15:11-32
EDIT: This is one of my devotionals from the morning after I wrote this post.
I have loved you with an everlasting Love. Before time began, I knew you. For years you swam around in a sea of meaninglessness, searching for Love, hoping for hope. All that time I was pursuing you, aching to embrace you in My compassionate arms. When time was right, I revealed Myself to you. I lifted you out of that sea of despair and set you down on a firm foundation. Sometimes you felt naked -- exposed to the revealing Light of My Presence. I wrapped an ermine robe around you: My robe of righteousness. I sang you a Love song, whose beginning and end are veiled in eternity. I infused meaning into your mind and harmony into your heart. Join Me in singing My song. Together we will draw others out of darkness into My marvelous Light.
The book of Proverbs taught me so much about God's perfect wisdom and how He calls us to be. My version of "wisdom" had really let me down over the years. It wasn't nice to realise that the majority of my hardships resulted from my own foolish and prideful behaviour. Two verses in particular stuck in my head:
"Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding." - Proverbs 3:5
"The fear of the LORD is the beginning of wisdom, and the knowledge of the Holy One is insight." - Proverbs 9:10
I wanted to be wise and trust in the Lord, but I found it incredibly difficult. I'd relied on my own understanding all my life and giving people advice was one of my favourite pastimes. I always thought that I knew best, even if my life experiences had clearly proven otherwise. I was determined to muster up trust in God, but kept getting stuck on my personal failures. How could God really love someone like me? How could I ever be a good, wise person the way God calls us to be when I'm so completely flawed? I wasn't finding much joy when I looked at the cross and I didn't know how to let go of my desire for control.
When I asked Him to forgive me for everything and to give me the trust and wisdom I couldn't find (I literally begged Him, because I wasn't getting there myself) - He answered. (see: Holy Spirit Gifts) When my eyes were opened by Jesus I saw everything so differently and feeling His loving Spirit gave me such peace. I knew then that He was true to His word.
Despite those first incredible encounters with God, there were and are still times when my emotions fluctuate and doubt creeps back into my mind. I certainly don't wake up in the morning in a state of exultation and joy. I usually wake up sleepy and grumpy in dire need of some java. When they first started happening I'd get confused whenever I felt "normal" again. Where did you go God? Why didn't I always physically feel Him there? He promised that He'd always be with me after all. Full of frustration I pleaded with God over my breakfast to please explain this to me. About five minutes later I read this passage in my devotional:
"Peace is my continual gift to you. It flows abundantly from My throne of grace. Just as the Israelites could not store up manna for the future but had to gather it daily, so it is with My Peace. The day-by-day collecting of manna kept My people aware of their dependence on Me. Similarly, I give you sufficient Peace for the present when you come to me by prayer and petition with thanksgiving. If I gave you permanent Peace, independent of My Presence, you might fall into the trap of self-sufficiency. May that never be! I had designed you to need Me moment by moment. As your awareness of your neediness increases, so does your realisation of My abundant sufficiency. I can meet every one of your needs without draining My resources at all. Approach My throne of grace with bold confidence, receiving My Peace with a thankful heart." - Sarah Young, Jesus Calling
So this frustrating state of mine is part of His plan for me. We're designed to rely on Him everyday for everything. What happened was not a one-time spiritual transaction giving me complete wisdom and peace there onwards (but Christians can look forward to that after this world). We will unfortunately continue to sin in some way everyday. Sanctification is the process by which we grow in the Lord and become spiritually mature. He starts the work of making us like Christ and then continues it throughout our lives. We're called to pursue it earnestly by meditating on and applying the Word as our main priority. I definitely feel God's presence the most when I'm learning and absorbing how awesome He is.
John Piper explains that finding joy in Jesus isn't always easy - it's sometimes a fight against our own worldly nature to keep the fire of our affections burning for Him. It's completely essential that we come to God for help and guidance everyday. Don't fall into the trap and lose sight of what merits your salvation. God’s acceptance of us is totally based on Christ, not our own works. Religion often tells people that God will love us if we follow the law and change ourselves. This is where the good news gets really mixed up! Jesus defeated sin and death already. He makes us good, we do not make ourselves good. If we see our sin and ask for His offered forgiveness and grace then everything good that changes in us after re-birth is the work of God's Spirit in us. We also have the freedom to reject or deny this gift.
"The great gospel weapon in the fight for joy is the rock-solid reality that we are counted righteous in Christ by faith alone. . . . That gospel weapon is powerful only to the degree we keep the basis of our justification free from our own performances. God accepts us on the basis of Christ’s righteousness, not ours. . . . Oh, what a difference it makes to be assured, in the discouraging darkness of our own imperfection, that we have a perfect righteousness — namely, Christ’s." - John Piper, When I Don’t Desire God
How shall we fight for joy?
I found this book to be incredibly helpful. I highly recommend it to every Christian at any stage of their walk with Christ. The main points are below.
How shall we fight for joy?
- Realize that authentic joy in God is a gift.
- Realize that joy must be fought for relentlessly.
- Resolve to attack all known sin in your life.
- Learn the secret of gutsy guilt — how to fight like a justified sinner.
- Realize that the battle is primarily a fight to see God for who he is.
- Meditate on the Word of God day and night.
- Pray earnestly and continually for open heart-eyes and an inclination for God.
- Learn to preach to yourself rather than listen to yourself.
- Spend time with God-saturated people who help you see God and fight the fight.
- Be patient in the night of God’s seeming absence.
- Get the rest, exercise, and proper diet that your body was designed by God to have.
- Make a proper use of God’s revelation in nature.
- Read great books about God and biographies of great saints.
- Do the hard and loving thing for the sake of others (witness and mercy).
- Get a global vision for the cause of Christ and pour yourself out for the unreached
"In their case the god of this world has blinded the minds of the unbelievers, to keep them from seeing the light of the gospel of the glory of Christ, who is the image of God." - 2 Corinthians 4:4
John Piper is the well known Christian founder and teacher of desiringGod.org. While listening to a series of his sermons a few months ago he challenged me to make an honest assessment of my personal relationship with God. I started by asking myself this question:
Do I find God to be glorious?
glorious: delightful, wonderful, beautiful, magnificent, completely enjoyable
One way to be sure that I answered honestly was to analyse my life in more detail. What we find to be glorious will be what regularly fills our minds and life. So I asked myself a series of questions to better answer the first.
- Who do I love most? My husband
- Who do I want to spend most of my time with? My husband, family and friends
- What are the most enjoyable parts of my day? Drinking a delicious coffee, going for a run, enjoying entertaining media, appreciating beauty, having good food and drinks with loved ones, learning, achieving or experiencing something new
- What are my goals in life (what do I assume will bring me the most joy)? Travelling, fun adventures, security (job, house, etc), raising a happy and balanced (Christian) family, being successful, having good relationships, being surrounded by beauty
- Who do I want to please the most? Myself and my husband
- When do I think of God? When I'm scared of losing something or when I want something.
- Do I find God to be glorious? No. God barely registers in my life or within any of my life priorities, except for what I can get from Him. If God was the Lord of my life - He should've been the answer to the first 6 questions.
I realised that to me, God only existed to give me what I wanted. I'd go to church occasionally (if I remembered) out of duty and to feel like a better Christian. I certainly didn't delight in Him and I felt guilty for not being a better outward follower. My prayers consisted of a few "thanks for this" quickly followed by "please give us this" - there was little delight, wonder or enjoyment. We didn't have any relationship at all.
Obviously, I wasn't happy with this realization. I desperately pleaded with God: Change me! Be my treasure! Open the eyes of my heart! I prayed this often for a few days and things began to happen around and inside me. What still amazes me is how quickly He answered my prayers. My eyes began to see the words that I read in the Gospel so differently. I heard God's own voice and felt the Spirit touching and moving me as I read about His love in the Bible. Jesus explains that people with His Spirit will see, hear and understand God. The rest of the world who still have "something like scales over their eyes" will consider it all foolishness.
Unbelievers think that they know what Jesus is getting at with the parables, but it's not as simple as understanding the symbolism. He's actually talking directly to people about their own inability to see Him at this very moment. He was speaking to everyone before us and is speaking right now to everyone today. He's talking to you. Are you the one who can see, but never sees? My heart had grown dull and my ears could barely hear and He showed me the desperate state of my condition apart from Him. Now I see! Now I hear! When God heals you and you read His Word, the Spirit applies it to your life in so many ways and despite this varied experience of it, the result is always the same: you see Jesus - the very image of God - as glorious!
"God gave us the Bible not just to inform our minds, but also to transform our hearts - our affections. God's word is honored not just by being understood rightly, but also by being felt rightly." - John Piper, How to Read the Bible For Yourself
Now I happily answer this question again with the eyes of my heart wide open.
Do I find God to be glorious? Yes. Jesus fills my heart every time I catch a glimpse of Him. He speaks from within me. His Holy Spirit fills my body with warmth, excitement and wonder at the love of God. My heart leaps within me, my soul trembles. I didn't know this level of overwhelming love even existed. I was made by Him for Him. Jesus is more glorious than anyone or anything. As a result of God's love filling me I also love everyone in my life more deeply than I did before.
Please don't worry if you don't feel this way about God, you can get there with His help. Everyone starts their lives separated from Him. If you're in the same place that I found myself before, just follow what Jesus calls us to do:
Obviously, I wasn't happy with this realization. I desperately pleaded with God: Change me! Be my treasure! Open the eyes of my heart! I prayed this often for a few days and things began to happen around and inside me. What still amazes me is how quickly He answered my prayers. My eyes began to see the words that I read in the Gospel so differently. I heard God's own voice and felt the Spirit touching and moving me as I read about His love in the Bible. Jesus explains that people with His Spirit will see, hear and understand God. The rest of the world who still have "something like scales over their eyes" will consider it all foolishness.
"This is why I speak to them in parables, because seeing they do not see, and hearing they do not hear, nor do they understand. Indeed, in their case the prophecy of Isaiah is fulfilled that says:
‘You will indeed hear but never understand, and you will indeed see but never perceive.”For this people’s heart has grown dull, and with their ears they can barely hear, and their eyes they have closed, lest they should see with their eyes and hear with their ears and understand with their heart and turn, and I would heal them.’
But blessed are your eyes, for they see, and your ears, for they hear. For truly, I say to you, many prophets and righteous people longed to see what you see, and did not see it, and to hear what you hear, and did not hear it." - Matthew 13: 13-16
"For the word of the cross is folly to those who are perishing, but to us who are being saved it is the power of God." - 1 Corinthians 1:18
Unbelievers think that they know what Jesus is getting at with the parables, but it's not as simple as understanding the symbolism. He's actually talking directly to people about their own inability to see Him at this very moment. He was speaking to everyone before us and is speaking right now to everyone today. He's talking to you. Are you the one who can see, but never sees? My heart had grown dull and my ears could barely hear and He showed me the desperate state of my condition apart from Him. Now I see! Now I hear! When God heals you and you read His Word, the Spirit applies it to your life in so many ways and despite this varied experience of it, the result is always the same: you see Jesus - the very image of God - as glorious!
"God gave us the Bible not just to inform our minds, but also to transform our hearts - our affections. God's word is honored not just by being understood rightly, but also by being felt rightly." - John Piper, How to Read the Bible For Yourself
Now I happily answer this question again with the eyes of my heart wide open.
Do I find God to be glorious? Yes. Jesus fills my heart every time I catch a glimpse of Him. He speaks from within me. His Holy Spirit fills my body with warmth, excitement and wonder at the love of God. My heart leaps within me, my soul trembles. I didn't know this level of overwhelming love even existed. I was made by Him for Him. Jesus is more glorious than anyone or anything. As a result of God's love filling me I also love everyone in my life more deeply than I did before.
Please don't worry if you don't feel this way about God, you can get there with His help. Everyone starts their lives separated from Him. If you're in the same place that I found myself before, just follow what Jesus calls us to do:
"Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks, the door will be opened." - Matthew 7:7-8
God will not leave you in the darkness if you want to see His light. Ask Jesus for His help to see Him clearly. If other things seem like a better use of your time, please know that it's a trap laid by the father of lies. Satan's main job is to keep you from God by making everything else look more enticing. Open the Bible (or download the free Bible app) and ask God to show you the glory and truth of Jesus - the New Testament is a great place to start. If you don't think you need any of this, simply ask God to show you why you do. We've all sinned and fall short of the glory of God. No one can be with God after death without faith in Christ's finished work on the cross. The alternative to eternal joy with Jesus is eternal suffering without Him. Just ask God for wisdom through His word - He's waiting for you with arms wide open.
Steve Turner the English journalist wrote the following satirical poem where he comments on our contemporary experience in Western culture.
"Creed"
We believe in Marxfreudanddarwin
We believe everything is OK
as long as you don’t hurt anyone
to the best of your definition of hurt,
and to the best of your knowledge.
We believe in sex before, during, and
after marriage.
We believe in the therapy of sin.
We believe that adultery is fun.
We believe that sodomy’s OK.
We believe that taboos are taboo.
We believe that everything’s getting better
despite evidence to the contrary.
The evidence must be investigated
And you can prove anything with evidence.
We believe there’s something in horoscopes
UFO’s and bent spoons.
Jesus was a good man just like Buddha,
Mohammed, and ourselves.
He was a good moral teacher though we think
His good morals were bad.
We believe that all religions are basically the same-
at least the one that we read was.
They all believe in love and goodness.
They only differ on matters of creation,
sin, heaven, hell, God, and salvation.
We believe that after death comes the Nothing
Because when you ask the dead what happens
they say nothing.
If death is not the end, if the dead have lied, then its
compulsory heaven for all
excepting perhaps
Hitler, Stalin, and Genghis Kahn
We believe in Masters and Johnson
What’s selected is average.
What’s average is normal.
What’s normal is good.
We believe in total disarmament.
We believe there are direct links between warfare and
bloodshed.
Americans should beat their guns into tractors .
And the Russians would be sure to follow.
We believe that man is essentially good.
It’s only his behavior that lets him down.
This is the fault of society.
Society is the fault of conditions.
Conditions are the fault of society.
We believe that each man must find the truth that
is right for him.
Reality will adapt accordingly.
The universe will readjust.
History will alter.
We believe that there is no absolute truth
excepting the truth
that there is no absolute truth.
We believe in the rejection of creeds,
And the flowering of individual thought.
If chance be
the Father of all flesh,
disaster is his rainbow in the sky
and when you hear
State of Emergency!
Sniper Kills Ten!
Troops on Rampage!
Whites go Looting!
Bomb Blasts School!
It is but the sound of man
worshipping his maker.
We believe everything is OK
as long as you don’t hurt anyone
to the best of your definition of hurt,
and to the best of your knowledge.
We believe in sex before, during, and
after marriage.
We believe in the therapy of sin.
We believe that adultery is fun.
We believe that sodomy’s OK.
We believe that taboos are taboo.
We believe that everything’s getting better
despite evidence to the contrary.
The evidence must be investigated
And you can prove anything with evidence.
We believe there’s something in horoscopes
UFO’s and bent spoons.
Jesus was a good man just like Buddha,
Mohammed, and ourselves.
He was a good moral teacher though we think
His good morals were bad.
We believe that all religions are basically the same-
at least the one that we read was.
They all believe in love and goodness.
They only differ on matters of creation,
sin, heaven, hell, God, and salvation.
We believe that after death comes the Nothing
Because when you ask the dead what happens
they say nothing.
If death is not the end, if the dead have lied, then its
compulsory heaven for all
excepting perhaps
Hitler, Stalin, and Genghis Kahn
We believe in Masters and Johnson
What’s selected is average.
What’s average is normal.
What’s normal is good.
We believe in total disarmament.
We believe there are direct links between warfare and
bloodshed.
Americans should beat their guns into tractors .
And the Russians would be sure to follow.
We believe that man is essentially good.
It’s only his behavior that lets him down.
This is the fault of society.
Society is the fault of conditions.
Conditions are the fault of society.
We believe that each man must find the truth that
is right for him.
Reality will adapt accordingly.
The universe will readjust.
History will alter.
We believe that there is no absolute truth
excepting the truth
that there is no absolute truth.
We believe in the rejection of creeds,
And the flowering of individual thought.
If chance be
the Father of all flesh,
disaster is his rainbow in the sky
and when you hear
State of Emergency!
Sniper Kills Ten!
Troops on Rampage!
Whites go Looting!
Bomb Blasts School!
It is but the sound of man
worshipping his maker.
- - -
Christian apologist Ravi Zacharias makes some incredibly astute points on secularisation, relativism and privatisation. This short two-part series is definitely worth a view.
“Indeed, I count everything as loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord. For his sake I have suffered the loss of all things and count them as rubbish, in order that I may gain Christ and be found in him, not having a righteousness of my own that comes from the law, but that which comes through faith in Christ, the righteousness from God that depends on faith.” - Philippians 3:8-9
For as long as I can remember I’ve been trying to fill the void in my heart. Most people can probably relate to my story. At an early age my "best friend" dumped me for another girl and the rejection really hurt. Five years later I grew close to a new friend, but she became mentally abusive and bullied me for a while with some other girls in middle school. I lost trust in people and felt waves of jealousy at all the happy, healthy friendships around me. I'd watch movies like "Now and Then" and cry, feeling such an ache in my heart, wanting what they had so badly. Later in life, the most empathetic and loving people I met were Christians. Their kindness opened my heart to them and pointed right to God. I was so thankful to Him for them, but nevertheless raised them up in my heart where He should've been.
When I moved abroad 6 years ago I had to leave everyone I loved in America. My self-confidence quickly waned without my regular support system (plus the shortage of work during the recession) and the void I’d tried to fill burst right open again. My depression was palpable to my poor husband who only knew the carefree and happy person he fell in love with over the years. I quickly turned back into an anxiety ridden girl who desperately clung to anyone who alleviated the weight of my heart or gave me some sense of value.
The two closest friendships I made in Ireland have ended terribly. I sensed a distance growing between one friend and myself and fearing the possible rejection pushed her away first. Last summer a woman who I spent a year getting to know couldn’t handle the pressure I evidently put on our relationship (or my emotional baggage at that time) and cut off contact with me completely. After years of loneliness and rejection I earnestly wanted to find the root of all my problems with making (and keeping) decent friends. My mom said I couldn’t expect people without God’s Spirit to empathize like my loving Christians friends could. While this was partially true and my pride wanted me to take zero responsibility, there were obvious mistakes made on both sides with each person.
When I began walking towards Jesus I felt so broken. Within weeks it was perfectly clear that He was who I wanted and needed all this time. My journey has been filled with regret, but I'm thankful He used the pain to draw me back to Him. His plan is good and I'm learning to trust Him with my present and the future. One of the many beautiful aspects of being in a redeemed relationship with Jesus is His promise to never leave. Unlike people, it's impossible for a perfect God to break His promises. He encourages us to seek forgiveness and bring our vulnerabilities and imperfections to Him. When we do this He will clean, comfort, strengthen and perfect every part of us through the Word and His Spirit (even if some things take longer than others).
“But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me.” - 2 Corinthians 12:9
He’s been telling me that I don’t have to pretend to be perfect or “play hard to get” with Him, because He knows me better than I do and loves more deeply than I could ever imagine. Being in His Presence is being surrounded by the embodiment of love itself. Jesus is my best friend. God is my good Father. He never leaves or forsakes us. He is the only one who can ever fully satisfy. Now I understand what Paul was saying: “Indeed, I count everything as loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord.” If I stray or wander away from Him, He’s still with me. When I’m weak, His words strengthen me. He is everything I need - my joy, my love, my treasure.
"You make known to me the path of life; in your presence there is fullness of joy; at your right hand are pleasures forevermore." - Psalm 16:11
"Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God." - Hebrews 12: 1-2
I joined facebook the first week of my freshman year at college. Almost every person I met at any social event asked if we could be “facebook friends”. There was an instant feeling of pride every time my network expanded. Connecting with new acquaintances and reconnecting with high school peers was thrilling and I enjoyed showcasing the best version of myself to receive positive feedback.
It wasn’t helpful to waste time on it everyday, but I excused it as necessary to stay in touch with people. Last fall my workload increased significantly, so I removed the app from my phone and installed a productivity extension to chrome which allowed me 15 minutes of use. This worked brilliantly for about a week, but I soon gave into my compulsion and found ways around it. After realising that I couldn’t be trusted to avoid it using willpower alone I gave access over to my husband.
Straight away I searched for content to stimulate me the way that everything on facebook had (youtube, snapchat, instagram, etc). Despite my best efforts my world quieted down without the steady influx of information, entertainment and notifications. I began experiencing life on a calmer, private level and was slowly freed from my need to self-promote. I learned that my life had value whether it was being catalogued or "liked" by others. Most importantly I was losing the unkind habit of judging others for the sake of personal validation - something that always left me feeling awful.
Around this time my friend recommended a daily devotional app called “Bible in One Year”, which began my morning routine in God’s word. It navigates through Old & New Testament books in a clear way and applies them in historical and modern day context. You don't have to be a learned theologian to understand Scripture (especially when you have the Holy Spirit who helps you understand it), but this devotional is a really great tool. In an astoundingly short period of time I began seeing Jesus as more infinitely grand than anything or anyone I’ve ever known. My desire for truth grows daily and He's become the only thing that really satisfies. He's what I've been looking for all the days of my wandering.
It wasn’t helpful to waste time on it everyday, but I excused it as necessary to stay in touch with people. Last fall my workload increased significantly, so I removed the app from my phone and installed a productivity extension to chrome which allowed me 15 minutes of use. This worked brilliantly for about a week, but I soon gave into my compulsion and found ways around it. After realising that I couldn’t be trusted to avoid it using willpower alone I gave access over to my husband.
Straight away I searched for content to stimulate me the way that everything on facebook had (youtube, snapchat, instagram, etc). Despite my best efforts my world quieted down without the steady influx of information, entertainment and notifications. I began experiencing life on a calmer, private level and was slowly freed from my need to self-promote. I learned that my life had value whether it was being catalogued or "liked" by others. Most importantly I was losing the unkind habit of judging others for the sake of personal validation - something that always left me feeling awful.
Around this time my friend recommended a daily devotional app called “Bible in One Year”, which began my morning routine in God’s word. It navigates through Old & New Testament books in a clear way and applies them in historical and modern day context. You don't have to be a learned theologian to understand Scripture (especially when you have the Holy Spirit who helps you understand it), but this devotional is a really great tool. In an astoundingly short period of time I began seeing Jesus as more infinitely grand than anything or anyone I’ve ever known. My desire for truth grows daily and He's become the only thing that really satisfies. He's what I've been looking for all the days of my wandering.
"Jesus said to them, “I am the bread of life; whoever comes to me shall not hunger, and whoever believes in me shall never thirst." - John 6:35
The works of his hands are faithful and just;
all his precepts are trustworthy;
they are established forever and ever,
to be performed with faithfulness and uprightness.
He sent redemption to his people;
he has commanded his covenant forever.
Holy and awesome is his name!
The fear of the LORD is the beginning of wisdom;
all those who practice it have a good understanding.
His praise endures forever!
- Psalm 111: 7-10
"John answered them all, saying, “I baptize you with water, but he who is mightier than I is coming, the strap of whose sandals I am not worthy to untie. He will baptize you with the Holy Spirit and fire." - Luke 3:16
"When the day of Pentecost arrived, they were all together in one place. And suddenly there came from heaven a sound like a mighty rushing wind, and it filled the entire house where they were sitting. And divided tongues as of fire appeared to them and rested on each one of them. And they were all filled with the Holy Spirit and began to speak in other tongues as the Spirit gave them utterance." - Acts 2:1-4
Singing worship has always been my favourite part of any church service. Who wouldn’t enjoy singing a song, especially one with a nice tune that’s saying positive things about God? I liked churches that invested time into their bands and had a variety of modern and classic hymns that energised the congregation. However there were always those select few who’d get too "into it”, making someone with my Conservative Baptist and Catholic background feel quite uncomfortable. Why did they have to raise their arms, dance around and randomly shout out? Were they showing off to everyone how much they love God? It was so distracting, irritating and strange to me that I’d stop going to a church that had too much of that happening.
A pastor recently compared the excitement of dedicated fans at a football game to worshippers at church: “Wouldn’t it be good if people who can shout, chant and jump because a ball went into a net were moved to do the same for the Creator of all things?” I’d never thought of it that way and it made sense. I began to wonder if maybe my judgement that people were being falsely theatrical was wrong. Was I the one who sang empty words to a God I barely knew? Maybe those excited displays of worship left me feeling insecure, because I lacked them?
The last session of the beginners Bible study devoted the class to the Holy Spirit and the gift of praying in tongues. (Speaking in tongues is when the Holy Spirit speaks through a Christian in other languages they don't know - world languages and Angelic languages) By the end of the evening my mind was more open to the idea, where before I‘d wanted to be as far away from it as possible. I began to think this distrust was the main thing between myself and God. That night I began praying that I’d open up to all of God and His gifts if He wanted to give them to me.
One week later I visited a church for their young adults session for the first time. I still couldn’t get into worship, because I was too self-conscious and couldn’t still my mind to focus on God. I was praying for trust when the girl beside me (who I hadn’t met - I didn't know anyone yet) began quietly praying in tongues. After a while she began to repeatedly say my name. I heard this, but I didn’t think I was hearing correctly. I held onto my doubts, thinking I misheard her and kept praying for trust. The girl then began to say it more clearly and loudly than before, she must’ve said my name about 10 or more times! Then a woman leapt onto the church stage to say: “God just told me someone here is struggling with trust and these are the verses He wants to share with them…” All of these verses shocked my heart and left me trembling. I prayed to him: “Okay God, I hear you. Thank you.” Honestly, I was more freaked out than excited about it, but I acknowledged Him.
That very same week on Saturday I read my Bible and went for a run. I replaced a few of my usual pop/dance songs with some worship music for the first time. That run was absolutely incredible - I found myself laughing and grinning while praising God in my heart for the 4 miles. As I was cooling down I asked Him “Why do we put things in front of you God? Good things, bad things - you are so much more incredible and perfect!” and as I asked Him my brain cleared for a moment in a way that has never happened to my recollection and a voice that was not my own quietly asked me :
"How do you compare the gift with the Giver?"
Many people won’t believe me or will think I’m nuts and I probably would too if it didn’t happen to me. It’s kind of like if you were abducted by aliens. Would you tell anyone about it and open yourself up to scrutiny, even though you know it happened? I recognised deep in my bones that voice was God. I was wide open to Him in my heart and He allowed me to hear Him. The statement made so much sense to me in that moment and has been incredibly helpful to me in a myriad of ways ever since, but more on that another time. God followed that up the next evening with this excerpt from one of my daily devotionals:
"Do not seek Me primarily for what I can give you. Remember that I, the Giver, am infinitely greater than any gift I might impart to you. Though I delight in blessing My children, I am deeply grieved when My blessings become idols in their hearts. Anything can be an idol if it distracts yourself from Me as your first love." - Jesus Calling, Sarah Young
This is the first time I had read anything about “the Giver” and it absolutely blew my mind. I’ve found that God does this a lot when you ask Him questions, if He reveals the answer He can do it in so many ways. You can’t put God into a box and expect Him to do it your way. If you’re faithful, you’ll know the answers when you see them. His voice was so gentle and sure that day, it’d be so easy to miss. I shared my experience with a Christian friend and she sent me this verse straight away:
"And he said, “Go out and stand on the mount before the LORD.” And behold, the LORD passed by, and a great and strong wind tore the mountains and broke in pieces the rocks before the LORD, but the LORD was not in the wind. And after the wind an earthquake, but the LORD was not in the earthquake. And after the earthquake a fire, but the LORD was not in the fire. And after the fire the sound of a low whisper." - 1 Kings: 19: 11-12
The joy and peace I felt that day was like nothing I’d experienced before. I told my mom, sisters, close friends and just could not get over it. GOD spoke to ME in my HEAD? He heard my prayers for trust and love and He was showering me with it in abundance just like He promises. ("Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you."- Matthew 7:7) Reading the Bible, listening to worship songs and praying all became so different after that. I suddenly had this new sensitivity through faith that He was right there. His words leapt off the pages and made sense in new ways, certain verses brought tears of joy to my eyes and whenever I could be alone I’d find myself singing and raising my arms in adulation to Jesus. My joy in His Presence breaks over me in waves of comforting warmth, my heart leaps and my stomach does flips. I’ve fallen in love with my God! This is the purpose I’d been waiting for all my life: to love God with all my heart and mind and strength and to share this treasure with others.
Soon after this I visited a fantastic church in England where I’d gone in 2007 while studying in London. At the end of the worship the speaker said: “Holy Spirit, please come into this place and fill us.” My arms were raised as he said it and suddenly I felt the sensation again, except this time it was a light steady stream of comforting warmth that went from the top of my head and neck down to my shoulders and further down, feeling fainter as it spread out like a ripple in the water. It kept coming for a while, maybe a minute or two. I was filled with complete peace and began thanking Jesus profusely. Finally the last thing I would describe is that I felt complete and "full". It stayed with me the whole day and I wasn’t able to keep myself from telling my friends - any fear of judgement was so small in comparison to experiencing the completeness of God’s love. I told my friend, “I hope you don’t mind me sharing this with you, I just feel like I’m spilling over…”
"A Psalm of David. The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want. He makes me lie down in green pastures. He leads me beside still waters. He restores my soul. He leads me in paths of righteousness for his name's sake. Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me. You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies; you anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows." - Psalm 23: 1-6
The answer is simple. Jesus Christ said He is the only way to God and when we’re saved by Him the purpose of our lives is to take up our own crosses and follow Him. We’re called to live for others instead of selfishly keeping the truth to ourselves out of the fear of persecution. Jesus gave up His life for man so that everyone who believes in Him may live eternally in joyous communion with their loving Father.
Christians who are reborn through the Holy Spirit are given a regenerated nature which gives them faith in and love for God and humanity. We're able to see the truth that most of those around us are like we used to be - condemned souls who face eternal suffering away from the presence of God (and subsequently, everything good). While being Christian with a personal relationship with God is absolutely amazing in infinite ways, it also isn’t going to be a walk in the park while we live on this Earth.
Jesus said twice that a man must be born again in order to see the kingdom of God (John 3:3, 7). Regeneration is not optional, for “flesh gives birth to flesh, but the Spirit gives birth to spirit” (John 3:6). Physical birth fits us for earth; spiritual rebirth fits us for heaven (Ephesians 2:1; 1 Peter 1:23; John 1:13). Regeneration is part of what God does for us at the moment of salvation, along with sealing (Ephesians 1:14), of adoption (Galatians 4:5) and forgiveness of sins (2 Corinthians 5:18–20). Regeneration begins the process of sanctification when we become the people God intends us to be (Romans 8:28–30).
The only means of regeneration is by faith in the finished work of Christ on the cross. No amount of good works or keeping of the Law can regenerate the heart. “By works of the law no human being will be justified in [God’s] sight” (Romans 3:20). Only Christ offers a cure for the total depravity of the human heart. People don't enjoy being told that they're inherently sinful or evil, however because of the fallen nature of the flesh, man loves the darkness and hates the light.
I’m just beginning my walk in faith with the Holy Spirit on this side of regeneration. Despite believing that Jesus was the only way to God, I didn’t read the Bible so the seed of truth that was planted so long ago in me was left small, unwatered and without light. I kept Jesus at an arm's length while I, riddled with fear and anxiety, thought I could live and enjoy my life better with myself in the drivers seat. This wasn't working out too well for me. Once convicted by the Word I earnestly prayed for the faith that only God can provide to change me. When the Holy Spirit miraculously opened my eyes, He revealed Himself to me in a myriad of exceptional ways and a renewed faith entered my heart and grew. This change in me has been obvious to everyone who knows me well and especially dramatic to me! All I want to do is share this amazing treasure with people around me, especially my loved ones.
My fears of others hostility and mockery come back if I begin to lean on myself. As I submit to God and give Him my worries in faith He provides the needed strength, trust and love for the present. Everyday my faith grows and my heart becomes less burdened. It’s fascinating how He provides just what we need and no more than that, so we'll regularly come to Him in humble and thankful trust. This reminds me of the way my dad used to discipline my sisters and me to teach us various life lessons. It took a long time for us to see how good it was and I’m so grateful to him for it today. I’m being blessed again as I see that our God is a good Father to us who not only loves and comforts, but also teaches us lessons so we may grow in our wisdom and faith. All praise and glory to God!
“Then Jesus told his disciples, “If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross and follow me. For whoever would save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake will find it.” - Matthew 16:24-25
"And Jesus came and said to them, “All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me. Go therefore and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, teaching them to observe all that I have commanded you. And behold, I am with you always, to the end of the age.”"- Matthew 28:18-20
Christians who are reborn through the Holy Spirit are given a regenerated nature which gives them faith in and love for God and humanity. We're able to see the truth that most of those around us are like we used to be - condemned souls who face eternal suffering away from the presence of God (and subsequently, everything good). While being Christian with a personal relationship with God is absolutely amazing in infinite ways, it also isn’t going to be a walk in the park while we live on this Earth.
“Enter by the narrow gate. For the gate is wide and the way is easy that leads to destruction, and those who enter by it are many. For the gate is narrow and the way is hard that leads to life, and those who find it are few.” - Matthew 7:13-14
The only means of regeneration is by faith in the finished work of Christ on the cross. No amount of good works or keeping of the Law can regenerate the heart. “By works of the law no human being will be justified in [God’s] sight” (Romans 3:20). Only Christ offers a cure for the total depravity of the human heart. People don't enjoy being told that they're inherently sinful or evil, however because of the fallen nature of the flesh, man loves the darkness and hates the light.
“And this is the judgment: the light has come into the world, and people loved the darkness rather than the light because their works were evil. For everyone who does wicked things hates the light and does not come to the light, lest his works should be exposed.” - John 3:19-20
I’m just beginning my walk in faith with the Holy Spirit on this side of regeneration. Despite believing that Jesus was the only way to God, I didn’t read the Bible so the seed of truth that was planted so long ago in me was left small, unwatered and without light. I kept Jesus at an arm's length while I, riddled with fear and anxiety, thought I could live and enjoy my life better with myself in the drivers seat. This wasn't working out too well for me. Once convicted by the Word I earnestly prayed for the faith that only God can provide to change me. When the Holy Spirit miraculously opened my eyes, He revealed Himself to me in a myriad of exceptional ways and a renewed faith entered my heart and grew. This change in me has been obvious to everyone who knows me well and especially dramatic to me! All I want to do is share this amazing treasure with people around me, especially my loved ones.
My fears of others hostility and mockery come back if I begin to lean on myself. As I submit to God and give Him my worries in faith He provides the needed strength, trust and love for the present. Everyday my faith grows and my heart becomes less burdened. It’s fascinating how He provides just what we need and no more than that, so we'll regularly come to Him in humble and thankful trust. This reminds me of the way my dad used to discipline my sisters and me to teach us various life lessons. It took a long time for us to see how good it was and I’m so grateful to him for it today. I’m being blessed again as I see that our God is a good Father to us who not only loves and comforts, but also teaches us lessons so we may grow in our wisdom and faith. All praise and glory to God!
"When they had finished breakfast, Jesus said to Simon Peter, “Simon, son of John, do you love me more than these?” He said to him, “Yes, Lord; you know that I love you.” He said to him, “Feed my lambs.” He said to him a second time, “Simon, son of John, do you love me?” He said to him, “Yes, Lord; you know that I love you.” He said to him, “Tend my sheep.” He said to him the third time, “Simon, son of John, do you love me?” Peter was grieved because he said to him the third time, “Do you love me?” and he said to him, “Lord, you know everything; you know that I love you.” Jesus said to him, “Feed my sheep. Truly, truly, I say to you, when you were young, you used to dress yourself and walk wherever you wanted, but when you are old, you will stretch out your hands, and another will dress you and carry you where you do not want to go.” (This he said to show by what kind of death he was to glorify God.) And after saying this he said to him, “Follow me.”" - John 21:15-19
"And one of the scribes came up and heard them disputing with one another, and seeing that he answered them well, asked him, “Which commandment is the most important of all?” Jesus answered, “The most important is, ‘Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one. And you shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.’ The second is this: ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’ There is no other commandment greater than these." - Mark 12:28-31
A few months ago I came across a video by John Piper called "Love Jesus More Than You Love Anything" (added below). It refers to what Jesus said is the greatest Commandment of our lives - to love God with everything we have, above all other things in this world. Piper clearly explains that loving God is not simply an act of obedience by going to church and following the commandments. Would a woman be happy if the man she married did all things for her out of a sense of duty without love? Absolutely not and neither is God satisfied with people who follow His law out of obligation without love for Him in their hearts.
"Whoever loves father or mother more than me is not worthy of me, and whoever loves son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me." - Matthew 10:37
Jesus revealed to me this year that I didn't love Him as I should. I put everything else in my life in front of Him: my husband, family, career, the pursuit of friendships, travel - the list goes on. In fact, I was so disinterested in God, I barely went to church and hadn't read the Bible in years. I was a "Christian" in name only - happy to claim that Jesus was my Saviour, when he was just a convenient "get out of hell free" card. I believed He was the only way to heaven and I tried to be a good person, but I didn't think He was worth much of my time besides a quick prayer before dinner and the occasional Sunday service.
Once convicted of this I wondered how to change my heart and put Him above all else. Surely God is infinitely worthy of our love being the creator of all things good, but how can I force myself to love Him for real? True love only occurs when you spend time getting to know a person, growing in trust and sharing some part of your life with them. Had there ever been a point where I wholly trusted Him with my life? Did I ever accept Him with complete faith or did I simply recite a superstitious prayer all those years ago in my youth, without having any Spiritual transformation? So many fears and questions flooded my mind, but I had to start somewhere.
First, I began reading the Bible - starting with Luke in the New Testament. I was repeatedly struck by how reading the words that this man spoke 2,000+ years ago was like being in His presence. I felt Him speaking straight into my heart even though His words were recorded so long ago. Jesus becomes more real, amazing and perfect every time I read about Him. It's as if the blinders of the world are finally chipped away and you can see, understand and know who God is. You feel the actual presence of the Holy Spirit when you read the word - it's like absolutely nothing else in this world.
The second thing I started doing was pray. Oh how desperately I prayed for God to give me love and trust in Jesus! Thankfully, God is true to His promises:
"Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives, and the one who seeks finds, and to the one who knocks it will be opened. Or which one of you, if his son asks him for bread, will give him a stone? Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a serpent? If you then, who are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father who is in heaven give good things to those who ask him!" - Matthew 7:7-11
God is a good, patient and merciful father! After so many years I finally came back seeking Him just like the prodigal son and He came running to meet me. He knew exactly what it would take to bring me back to Him and I'm so grateful that he broke each of my walls down. Something massive changed in me and it's difficult to explain through words. Biblically speaking, my Spirit was "born again" and I'm a new person through Christ. Everything has changed. Everything is new. For the first time in my life I can feel His presence and love like a fire in my veins.
Jesus is now first in my life and instead of my old anxious self being overwhelmed by the rules and trials that come with following Him, I'm excited to learn everything He has to teach me. I know I'll fail to live a perfect life, but Jesus has covered me with His blood. The difference is I don't take that fact for granted, my heart has changed in relation to my sin and I pray for forgiveness then pour out my thankful praise for everything He's done for me. We can't earn God's love, but Jesus made a way to Him by taking our sin on Himself and dying in our place. All we have to do is reach out and receive this amazing gift of grace with love and faith.
Seek Jesus and you will find life! Is there anything more beautiful than this perfect love?
"No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord." - Romans 8:37-39