"And one of the scribes came up and heard them disputing with one another, and seeing that he answered them well, asked him, “Which commandment is the most important of all?” Jesus answered, “The most important is, ‘Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one. And you shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.’ The second is this: ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’ There is no other commandment greater than these." - Mark 12:28-31

A few months ago I came across a video by John Piper called "Love Jesus More Than You Love Anything" (added below). It refers to what Jesus said is the greatest Commandment of our lives - to love God with everything we have, above all other things in this world. Piper clearly explains that loving God is not simply an act of obedience by going to church and following the commandments. Would a woman be happy if the man she married did all things for her out of a sense of duty without love? Absolutely not and neither is God satisfied with people who follow His law out of obligation without love for Him in their hearts.

"Whoever loves father or mother more than me is not worthy of me, and whoever loves son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me." - Matthew 10:37

Jesus revealed to me this year that I didn't love Him as I should. I put everything else in my life in front of Him: my husband, family, career, the pursuit of friendships, travel - the list goes on. In fact, I was so disinterested in God, I barely went to church and hadn't read the Bible in years. I was a "Christian" in name only - happy to claim that Jesus was my Saviour, when he was just a convenient "get out of hell free" card. I believed He was the only way to heaven and I tried to be a good person, but I didn't think He was worth much of my time besides a quick prayer before dinner and the occasional Sunday service.

Once convicted of this I wondered how to change my heart and put Him above all else. Surely God is infinitely worthy of our love being the creator of all things good, but how can I force myself to love Him for real? True love only occurs when you spend time getting to know a person, growing in trust and sharing some part of your life with them. Had there ever been a point where I wholly trusted Him with my life? Did I ever accept Him with complete faith or did I simply recite a superstitious prayer all those years ago in my youth, without having any Spiritual transformation? So many fears and questions flooded my mind, but I had to start somewhere.

First, I began reading the Bible - starting with Luke in the New Testament. I was repeatedly struck by how reading the words that this man spoke 2,000+ years ago was like being in His presence. I felt Him speaking straight into my heart even though His words were recorded so long ago. Jesus becomes more real, amazing and perfect every time I read about Him. It's as if the blinders of the world are finally chipped away and you can see, understand and know who God is. You feel the actual presence of the Holy Spirit when you read the word - it's like absolutely nothing else in this world.

The second thing I started doing was pray. Oh how desperately I prayed for God to give me love and trust in Jesus! Thankfully, God is true to His promises:

"Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives, and the one who seeks finds, and to the one who knocks it will be opened. Or which one of you, if his son asks him for bread, will give him a stone? Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a serpent? If you then, who are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father who is in heaven give good things to those who ask him!" - Matthew 7:7-11

God is a good, patient and merciful father! After so many years I finally came back seeking Him just like the prodigal son and He came running to meet me. He knew exactly what it would take to bring me back to Him and I'm so grateful that he broke each of my walls down. Something massive changed in me and it's difficult to explain through words. Biblically speaking, my Spirit was "born again" and I'm a new person through Christ. Everything has changed. Everything is new. For the first time in my life I can feel His presence and love like a fire in my veins.

Jesus is now first in my life and instead of my old anxious self being overwhelmed by the rules and trials that come with following Him, I'm excited to learn everything He has to teach me. I know I'll fail to live a perfect life, but Jesus has covered me with His blood. The difference is I don't take that fact for granted, my heart has changed in relation to my sin and I pray for forgiveness then pour out my thankful praise for everything He's done for me. We can't earn God's love, but Jesus made a way to Him by taking our sin on Himself and dying in our place. All we have to do is reach out and receive this amazing gift of grace with love and faith.

Seek Jesus and you will find life! Is there anything more beautiful than this perfect love?

"No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord." - Romans 8:37-39