I realised that to me, God only existed to give me what I wanted. I'd go to church occasionally (if I remembered) out of duty and to feel like a better Christian. I certainly didn't delight in Him and I felt guilty for not being a better outward follower. My prayers consisted of a few "thanks for this" quickly followed by "please give us this" - there was little delight, wonder or enjoyment. We didn't have any relationship at all.

Obviously, I wasn't happy with this realization. I desperately pleaded with God: Change me! Be my treasure! Open the eyes of my heart! I prayed this often for a few days and things began to happen around and inside me. What still amazes me is how quickly He answered my prayers. My eyes began to see the words that I read in the Gospel so differently. I heard God's own voice and felt the Spirit touching and moving me as I read about His love in the Bible. Jesus explains that people with His Spirit will see, hear and understand God. The rest of the world who still have "something like scales over their eyes" will consider it all foolishness.

"This is why I speak to them in parables, because seeing they do not see, and hearing they do not hear, nor do they understand. Indeed, in their case the prophecy of Isaiah is fulfilled that says:

‘You will indeed hear but never understand, and you will indeed see but never perceive.”For this people’s heart has grown dull, and with their ears they can barely hear, and their eyes they have closed, lest they should see with their eyes and hear with their ears and understand with their heart and turn, and I would heal them.’

But blessed are your eyes, for they see, and your ears, for they hear. For truly, I say to you, many prophets and righteous people longed to see what you see, and did not see it, and to hear what you hear, and did not hear it." - Matthew 13: 13-16

"For the word of the cross is folly to those who are perishing, but to us who are being saved it is the power of God." - 1 Corinthians 1:18

Unbelievers think that they know what Jesus is getting at with the parables, but it's not as simple as understanding the symbolism. He's actually talking directly to people about their own inability to see Him at this very moment. He was speaking to everyone before us and is speaking right now to everyone today. He's talking to you. Are you the one who can see, but never sees? My heart had grown dull and my ears could barely hear and He showed me the desperate state of my condition apart from Him. Now I see! Now I hear! When God heals you and you read His Word, the Spirit applies it to your life in so many ways and despite this varied experience of it, the result is always the same: you see Jesus - the very image of God - as glorious!

"God gave us the Bible not just to inform our minds, but also to transform our hearts - our affections. God's word is honored not just by being understood rightly, but also by being felt rightly." - John Piper, How to Read the Bible For Yourself

Now I happily answer this question again with the eyes of my heart wide open.

Do I find God to be glorious? Yes. Jesus fills my heart every time I catch a glimpse of Him. He speaks from within me. His Holy Spirit fills my body with warmth, excitement and wonder at the love of God. My heart leaps within me, my soul trembles. I didn't know this level of overwhelming love even existed. I was made by Him for Him. Jesus is more glorious than anyone or anything. As a result of God's love filling me I also love everyone in my life more deeply than I did before.

Please don't worry if you don't feel this way about God, you can get there with His help. Everyone starts their lives separated from Him. If you're in the same place that I found myself before, just follow what Jesus calls us to do:

"Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks, the door will be opened." - Matthew 7:7-8

God will not leave you in the darkness if you want to see His light. Ask Jesus for His help to see Him clearly. If other things seem like a better use of your time, please know that it's a trap laid by the father of lies. Satan's main job is to keep you from God by making everything else look more enticing. Open the Bible (or download the free Bible app) and ask God to show you the glory and truth of Jesus - the New Testament is a great place to start. If you don't think you need any of this, simply ask God to show you why you do. We've all sinned and fall short of the glory of God. No one can be with God after death without faith in Christ's finished work on the cross. The alternative to eternal joy with Jesus is eternal suffering without Him. Just ask God for wisdom through His word - He's waiting for you with arms wide open.